i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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