Betty ford says i'm here all night
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
