therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
