Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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