how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
