you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I could have mohawked her pubes.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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