I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
the condom got lost in my hair
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize