He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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