The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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