She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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