I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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