I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
