I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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