Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
