It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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