Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize