so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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