like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Randomize
