I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
