We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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