she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
