I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
