yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
