I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize