her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
