I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
