and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
