I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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