i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
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