i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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