Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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