We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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