PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
