Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Randomize
