Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
