My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
