yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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