Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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