I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
