I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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