she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
