then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
