eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
When are your genitals available?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
