I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
