I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize