Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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