You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I skipped work to stalk him.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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