I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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