That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
3pm strippers are depressing
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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