were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
My vagina just clenched in fear
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