Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
