The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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