i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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