He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
