he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
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