If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
