This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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