THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
