Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Randomize
