I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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