The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
