C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
