The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
